Que faites-vous si votre manque d’affirmation de soi et de confiance affecte vos relations professionnelles ?

Don’t let your past negative experiences steal your future successes. The root may lie in your limiting beliefs or generalisation of the past experiences. Reflect on who do you think you are and who you want to become. Find the gap between the 2 of them, prepare the action plan and move forward with baby steps, celebrating your small success and rewarding yourself for your progress. Your confidence and assertiveness starts within you!

You don't necessarily need to know the origin or 'root cause' of a behaviour or belief in order to change it. What is most important is to identify what story or meaning you are giving to a situation (about yourself) and how it is manifesting in your behaviour so that you can consciously choose a different response. For example, I used to associate any kind of feedback with rejection and unworthiness... I interpreted feedback as 'I'm not good enough', 'I'm bad at this', 'they think I'm bad'. Once I became conscious of the way I interpreted feedback, I trained myself to make a more empowering meaning out of it like 'I'm receiving feedback because this person sees that I am capable'.

Discover why this occurs through self-reflection and assessment. I believe in starting with the "why". Ask yourself what the root causes of your feelings are. Are they tied to specific situations or types of interactions? Keeping a journal is a good way to track instances where you feel less assertive or confident, and you can also note any common triggers.

1. Breathe. 2. Acknowledge: Reflect on the reason behind your lack of confidence and assertiveness. 3. Reframe: Can you absolutely know that it's true? What are some other perspectives around this? Is there a scenario in work/life where you were confident and assertive? 4. Visualise: In an ideal scenario, what would assertiveness and confidence in professional relationships look like for you. 5. Transform: With your reflections, what is one tiny step you would like to take forward?

Developing assertiveness and confidence also comes from what you do FOR YOURSELF behind the scenes including knowing your needs, getting your own needs met, asking for what you need/want and developing a healthy relationship with yourself. All of this really boils down to self-worth, knowing that you are enough, you matter, your ideas matter and ultimately becoming self-validating rather than always seeking external validation.

Becoming more assertive and confident is a journey, so break down your overall goal of being more assertive and confident into smaller, manageable goals. Celebrate your small victories. I remember participating in scenarios in college to learn to say "no" without feeling guilty because "yes" desired its moment in the sun. With regular practice, feedback, and the support of everyone, I found my voice and it now says no when it is appropriate to do so. One step at a time, significant changes are made.

Assertiveness and confidence skills are developed over time with practice: • Assertiveness Training: This type of training is designed to improve assertive communication, teaching you how to express needs and opinions openly and respectfully. • Public Speaking: Consider joining a Toastmasters club. Toastmasters is an excellent resource for building confidence and improving your speaking skills. It can help you find your assertive voice and the confidence to use it in various situations where you need to assert yourself. • Role-Playing: Ask your friends to assist by practicing scenarios where you need to be more assertive. Role-playing can be fun and informative.

Discuss your goals with someone you trust: a trusted co-worker, mentor, or supervisor. Often valuable feedback and encouragement are all that's needed for the progress you seek.

Should your lack of assertiveness and confidence feel overwhelming, consider seeking support from a coach or therapist. This approach offers the opportunity for personalized strategies to help you achieve the confidence and assertiveness you desire.