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Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant: A Memoir
This memoir tells the story of Curtis Chin’s time growing up as a gay Chinese American kid in 1980’s Detroit. Nineteen eighties Detroit was a volatile place to live, but above the fray stood a safe Chung’s Cantonese Cuisine, where anyone—from the city’s first Black mayor to the local drag queens, from a big-time Hollywood star to elderly Jewish couples—could sit down for a warm, home-cooked meal. Here was where, beneath a bright-red awning and surrounded by his multigenerational family, filmmaker and activist Curtis Chin came of age; where he learned to embrace his identity as a gay ABC, or American-born Chinese; where he navigated the divided city’s spiraling misfortunes; and where—between helpings of almond boneless chicken, sweet-and-sour pork, and some of his own, less-savory culinary concoctions—he realized just how much he had to offer to the world, to his beloved family, and to himself.
Served up by the cofounder of the Asian American Writers’ Workshop and structured around the very menu that graced the tables of Chung’s, Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant is both a memoir and an to step inside one boy’s childhood oasis, scoot into a vinyl booth, and grow up with him—and perhaps even share something off the secret menu.
Served up by the cofounder of the Asian American Writers’ Workshop and structured around the very menu that graced the tables of Chung’s, Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant is both a memoir and an to step inside one boy’s childhood oasis, scoot into a vinyl booth, and grow up with him—and perhaps even share something off the secret menu.
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First published October 17, 2023
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October 20, 2023
This book was less a memoir and more an assorted list of observations a man made with little to no substantive commentary - sometimes to a point where I found the complete lack of self awareness laughable.
Some tldrs of what were probably the more salient stories, paraphrased of course:
1) "My mom gave up furthering her education to marry my father and raise my siblings and me. Also my dad has a side chick and my mom found out. Her life is so sad. I guess I won't take a gap year after high school after all since it would just make her life more depressing!"
2) "I love Ronald Reagan, except my mom says that Ronald Reagan is just letting gay men die from AIDs without providing any assistance and I'm gay! What if I die young from AIDs! Anyways, I love Ronald Reagan." (Absolutely insane to me that a memoir purportedly about growing up as a queer person of color in the U.S. in the late 20th century just GLOSSES over the entire AIDs crisis like this book did... Unfathomable??? Also the side mention of Harvey Milk's election during the author's time in San Francisco with no additional commentary on how monumental it was beyond "How neat!" Insert that tweet that said "Can something be both gay and homophobic?" here.)
3) "My grandma had a stroke, but I hate that lady so I didn't care, but my parents said I shouldn't hate my grandma and I SHOULD care because she's family so I was like, okay, but I'd rather be summering in San Francisco." (This would have really been a great opportunity to discuss intergenerational trauma, expectations of filial piety from people who mistreat us, etc. but this story ends, like all the others, with no insightful commentary).
Every discussion of race was absolutely mind boggling and went something like this: "White people were 50% of the room. Black people were 50% of the room. I am an Asian person who is also in this room! I know racism is Bad and I feel like I have to take sides. Who do I side with? The Black people who are actively being discriminated against and getting called slurs, or the white people doing the discriminating and slur calling? Race relations are so darn confusing. Being Asian is so hard. Anyways, I love Ronald Reagan."
Also, the mention of his clear anti-Black racism (claiming that as a young person, he was "too Buddhist" to comfortably feel anger, and he associated anger with Black people, and specifically in a negative way????) that goes pretty much unaddressed for the rest of the memoir????
Usually, a memoir would highlight key character weaknesses and then build upon them to show how the individual has grown over time and learned new things, but this memoir did none of that. The most change the author discussed was how he went from being Republican to being a moderate, and it was basically a throwaway line.
I need to end this review here because the more I stew and the more I write, the more upset I become that I read this entire thing and it is simply not good energy for my healing space. Thank you and good night!
(also libro.fm provided me with an ALC of this book)
Some tldrs of what were probably the more salient stories, paraphrased of course:
1) "My mom gave up furthering her education to marry my father and raise my siblings and me. Also my dad has a side chick and my mom found out. Her life is so sad. I guess I won't take a gap year after high school after all since it would just make her life more depressing!"
2) "I love Ronald Reagan, except my mom says that Ronald Reagan is just letting gay men die from AIDs without providing any assistance and I'm gay! What if I die young from AIDs! Anyways, I love Ronald Reagan." (Absolutely insane to me that a memoir purportedly about growing up as a queer person of color in the U.S. in the late 20th century just GLOSSES over the entire AIDs crisis like this book did... Unfathomable??? Also the side mention of Harvey Milk's election during the author's time in San Francisco with no additional commentary on how monumental it was beyond "How neat!" Insert that tweet that said "Can something be both gay and homophobic?" here.)
3) "My grandma had a stroke, but I hate that lady so I didn't care, but my parents said I shouldn't hate my grandma and I SHOULD care because she's family so I was like, okay, but I'd rather be summering in San Francisco." (This would have really been a great opportunity to discuss intergenerational trauma, expectations of filial piety from people who mistreat us, etc. but this story ends, like all the others, with no insightful commentary).
Every discussion of race was absolutely mind boggling and went something like this: "White people were 50% of the room. Black people were 50% of the room. I am an Asian person who is also in this room! I know racism is Bad and I feel like I have to take sides. Who do I side with? The Black people who are actively being discriminated against and getting called slurs, or the white people doing the discriminating and slur calling? Race relations are so darn confusing. Being Asian is so hard. Anyways, I love Ronald Reagan."
Also, the mention of his clear anti-Black racism (claiming that as a young person, he was "too Buddhist" to comfortably feel anger, and he associated anger with Black people, and specifically in a negative way????) that goes pretty much unaddressed for the rest of the memoir????
Usually, a memoir would highlight key character weaknesses and then build upon them to show how the individual has grown over time and learned new things, but this memoir did none of that. The most change the author discussed was how he went from being Republican to being a moderate, and it was basically a throwaway line.
I need to end this review here because the more I stew and the more I write, the more upset I become that I read this entire thing and it is simply not good energy for my healing space. Thank you and good night!
(also libro.fm provided me with an ALC of this book)
December 6, 2023
Hot take: The people giving this book less than favorable reviews do not and will not ever understand what it is like growing up Asian American in America. Many people's reviews talk about Curtis' "lack of self-awareness," which is infuriating. Speaking from experience, when you experience microaggressions constantly as a kid (or even as an adult), you don't necessarily realize how much it affected you OR how messed up those words were until you look back years later and reflect. (Hmm...like a memoir?!) Did any of these reviewers experience/learn about race or how you were different from others as early as 1st grade? Probably not. You were probably the kids asking kids like me if I was adopted when you saw my white mom picking me up from school. Added to Chin's experience was that he was growing up gay during the AIDS epidemic?! I cannot even imagine.
No, there wasn't a huge reveal and/or huge lesson culminating at the end of the book. But seeing Chin's growth as a person as he took us through the journey of his childhood was just as worth it.
Rant over.
No, there wasn't a huge reveal and/or huge lesson culminating at the end of the book. But seeing Chin's growth as a person as he took us through the journey of his childhood was just as worth it.
Rant over.
September 27, 2023
4.5 Stars
I really enjoyed this memoir from Curtis Chin, whose family owned a Chinese restaurant in Detroit, Michigan for six decades. Chin recounts growing up during the 80s along with his siblings, parents and grandparents, as they all participated in the running of this restaurant. The restaurant was much more than a family business; it was the primary living space where the kids retreated to a safe hub where they did their homework, read newspapers, and learned about life in general. The parents would utilize the children in various aspects of running this family concern as they grew older, gradually allowing them to assume more responsibilities. At times prestigious people such as the Mayor and even the famous actor Yul Brynner patronized the restaurant. Not only did this experience nourish unity as a family and impart life skills, but ensured that they never lacked a good meal.
Chin beautifully communicated the story of how he grew up and evolved into the person he is today. Although he touched on issues of sexuality and politics, he "spoke" honestly, gently, and without animus, drawing the reader in for thought-provoking inspection rather than alienating them. I really appreciated the loving care Chin employed conveying his story and enjoyed "living in his world" for awhile.
Thank you to the publisher Little, Brown and Company who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.
I really enjoyed this memoir from Curtis Chin, whose family owned a Chinese restaurant in Detroit, Michigan for six decades. Chin recounts growing up during the 80s along with his siblings, parents and grandparents, as they all participated in the running of this restaurant. The restaurant was much more than a family business; it was the primary living space where the kids retreated to a safe hub where they did their homework, read newspapers, and learned about life in general. The parents would utilize the children in various aspects of running this family concern as they grew older, gradually allowing them to assume more responsibilities. At times prestigious people such as the Mayor and even the famous actor Yul Brynner patronized the restaurant. Not only did this experience nourish unity as a family and impart life skills, but ensured that they never lacked a good meal.
Chin beautifully communicated the story of how he grew up and evolved into the person he is today. Although he touched on issues of sexuality and politics, he "spoke" honestly, gently, and without animus, drawing the reader in for thought-provoking inspection rather than alienating them. I really appreciated the loving care Chin employed conveying his story and enjoyed "living in his world" for awhile.
Thank you to the publisher Little, Brown and Company who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.
September 23, 2023
Let’s talk about how the chapters are arranged like a Chinese restaurant menu! So clever and such a nice detail. Growing up in the family Chinese restaurant in Detroit, Chin’s story follows growing up as a minority and finding his sexuality. It’s a combination of short stories and memories. From all of his experiences the Smut Run had me laughing.
Thank you to NetGalley, Curtis Chin, and Little Brown Company for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review
Thank you to NetGalley, Curtis Chin, and Little Brown Company for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review
August 9, 2023
curtis chin's memoir "everything i learned, i learned in a chinese restaurant" explores asian identity and queer identity very well. however, this wasn't an enjoyable memoir for me. it was very bare bones. it didn't have much emotion either. this was the type of memoir that could be a conversation with a new friend over a drink at the bar. for someone who says that "poetry saved me" it's not very poetic.
i did enjoy how the sections were split up like that of a chinese restaurant menu. the descriptions of food were good, but not excellent and mouthwatering. i did not love how jewish people were portrayed as only wanting to speak about business and their children. we're not a monolith.
thank you to netgalley and the publisher for an arc in exchange for an honest review.
i did enjoy how the sections were split up like that of a chinese restaurant menu. the descriptions of food were good, but not excellent and mouthwatering. i did not love how jewish people were portrayed as only wanting to speak about business and their children. we're not a monolith.
thank you to netgalley and the publisher for an arc in exchange for an honest review.
April 19, 2023
I admit, as the granddaughter of a Chinese restaurant owner in East Detroit (back in the 70s and 80s, yo), this memoir was right up my alley. In EverythingI Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant, Curtis Chin captures the Detroit flavor of that era, the Chinese immigrant experience, and layers on top all of that the Chinese restaurant culture. The Cantonese phrases that he scatters throughout pulled me back to that time, and I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to the past...without having to write it myself ;)
Shelved as '2023'
June 25, 2024$9.99 audiobook sale @ Libro.fm
📱 Thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown and Company
📱 Thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown and Company
December 13, 2023
I liked this book overall. The device of learning various lessons from a restaurant was intriguing.
That being said, the lessons are not particularly mind-blowing but more in the realm of "chicken soup for the soul." The analysis and the reflections are not as bold or deep as I would have liked.
Likewise, I found the writing to be plain-spoken, accessible and simple.... The writing is not fancy or stylized. It's straight-forward and unembellished. It had a steady and low-key pace and effect. I think I could have finished this book in one sitting... longish but not a particularly long one.
The feelings are generally described but not particularly evocative or moving. As a memoir, this did not draw me into a heightened emotional journey. I think there was some emotional gatekeeping and unfortunately, that held something back here. I kept wondering what wasn't being said or revealed.
I appreciated the historical contexts Chin provides. These include US immigration history, the Chinese Exclusion Act, and the 1965 INA. He talks about the murder of Vincent Chin who was killed by 2 racist white men on the night of his bachelor party. The men mistook him for being Japanese; and they were unemployed autoworkers when U.S. cars were not appealing buyers. The judge's obscenely light verdict absolving the 2 men led to a galvanizing moment in Asian American history.
A few quotes:
My grandma's cooking was her one redeeming quality. Her sweets were so tasty, they made me forget how sour she could be....A stern figure whose face resembled the good earth--craggy and dry--...
The only thing missing was turkey, as we considered it the other white meat--as in, only white people ate it.
------------
And Mr. Mah, wherever you are, I'd love to taste the food you prepare.
From what I've learned, I have multiple "less than 6-degrees of separation" connections to the author. And I admit that knowing that he co-founded the Asian American Writers' Workshop led me to have different and somewhat higher expectations of his writing...unfairly as that may be.
I was particularly pleased that one name was very briefly mentioned in the book later shows up in his 2022 opinion article:
https://www.cnn.com/2022/12/14/opinio...
That being said, the lessons are not particularly mind-blowing but more in the realm of "chicken soup for the soul." The analysis and the reflections are not as bold or deep as I would have liked.
Likewise, I found the writing to be plain-spoken, accessible and simple.... The writing is not fancy or stylized. It's straight-forward and unembellished. It had a steady and low-key pace and effect. I think I could have finished this book in one sitting... longish but not a particularly long one.
The feelings are generally described but not particularly evocative or moving. As a memoir, this did not draw me into a heightened emotional journey. I think there was some emotional gatekeeping and unfortunately, that held something back here. I kept wondering what wasn't being said or revealed.
I appreciated the historical contexts Chin provides. These include US immigration history, the Chinese Exclusion Act, and the 1965 INA. He talks about the murder of Vincent Chin who was killed by 2 racist white men on the night of his bachelor party. The men mistook him for being Japanese; and they were unemployed autoworkers when U.S. cars were not appealing buyers. The judge's obscenely light verdict absolving the 2 men led to a galvanizing moment in Asian American history.
A few quotes:
My grandma's cooking was her one redeeming quality. Her sweets were so tasty, they made me forget how sour she could be....A stern figure whose face resembled the good earth--craggy and dry--...
The only thing missing was turkey, as we considered it the other white meat--as in, only white people ate it.
------------
And Mr. Mah, wherever you are, I'd love to taste the food you prepare.
From what I've learned, I have multiple "less than 6-degrees of separation" connections to the author. And I admit that knowing that he co-founded the Asian American Writers' Workshop led me to have different and somewhat higher expectations of his writing...unfairly as that may be.
I was particularly pleased that one name was very briefly mentioned in the book later shows up in his 2022 opinion article:
https://www.cnn.com/2022/12/14/opinio...
September 9, 2023
Thanks to NetGalley and Little, Brown, and Company for access to this title. I am auto-approved by this publisher. All opinions expressed are my own.
A memoir, Curtis Chin takes readers through his years as an Asian American living in Detroit in the 1980s. From discovering his sexuality to carving out a life as a writer, Curtis recounts his life with vivid detail and humor.
Honestly, I think I just chose this book because it had an eye-catching title. I liked that the book was broken up like a menu at a restaurant. After all, the family business is where all the "C's" spent most of their growing-up years. I feel it's a solid 3-star for me because I liked it but sometimes the pacing was off.
Expected Publication 17/10/23
Goodreads Review 09/09/23
#EverythingILearnedILearnedinaChineseRestaurant #NetGalley.
A memoir, Curtis Chin takes readers through his years as an Asian American living in Detroit in the 1980s. From discovering his sexuality to carving out a life as a writer, Curtis recounts his life with vivid detail and humor.
Honestly, I think I just chose this book because it had an eye-catching title. I liked that the book was broken up like a menu at a restaurant. After all, the family business is where all the "C's" spent most of their growing-up years. I feel it's a solid 3-star for me because I liked it but sometimes the pacing was off.
Expected Publication 17/10/23
Goodreads Review 09/09/23
#EverythingILearnedILearnedinaChineseRestaurant #NetGalley.
February 26, 2023
This week, I had an ARC for this memoir. Written by Curtis Chin, it discusses growing up in Detroit in a large family (all American Born Chinese, save his mom and grandparents) that ran a Chinese restaurant. I also enjoyed learning about Chin's journey of accepting his queerness in a fraught and tumultuous city in the late 1980s/1990s.
![Profile Image for laurel [the suspected bibliophile].](https://cdn.statically.io/img/i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/users/1645808644i/7494844._UX200_CR0,6,200,200_.jpg)
June 4, 2024
A coming of age/coming of self of a gay Chinese-American man growing up in Detroit.
I really enjoyed this, although it was painful to read in many places.
I really enjoyed this, although it was painful to read in many places.
June 18, 2024
I am not a memoir reader.
That's my takeaway from this book. DNF'ed at about 30%, which I was surprised at, but no amount of interest in 70s-80s Detroit, minority viewpoint, or searching for self when everyone else is different can make up for the dry, minutiae-filled reportage execution.
That's my takeaway from this book. DNF'ed at about 30%, which I was surprised at, but no amount of interest in 70s-80s Detroit, minority viewpoint, or searching for self when everyone else is different can make up for the dry, minutiae-filled reportage execution.
October 25, 2023
It wasn't bad, per se. I just... was. It had the richness and full-bodied flavor of room temperature water. The nicest thing I could come up for it is that it was a mostly palatable boring. The strongest feeling I ever felt while reading was annoyance. There was just this blasé lack of self awareness. Like his big growing moment was changing his political affiliation from Republican to unaffiliated moderate. Good job?
January 6, 2024
4.5
this had everything i love in a memoir — emotional arcs, conversational storytelling, connections to cultural/historical cornerstones, perspective from marginalized communities, & so much heart
chin reflects on his childhood memories with heart & humor, telling tales of his intergenerational family unit, minor feelings as a Chinese kid in the predominantly Black/white binary of detroit, middle child forgottenness, internalized homophobia, & family restaurant’s business successes/struggles in the face of white flight & increasing crime in detroit
i have read a few queer rust belt stories, but none from detroit — so that was a perspective i really learned from as chin reflected on his racial & class identities in this city context. seeing the divestment of resources away from the city was difficult & made even more so with how this personally affected chin’s family’s restaurant. it was also even more tragic to read about vincent chin’s murder as he was a member of the local family association run by the author’s grandpa (great grandpa? i forget the details oops)
the arc i found most impactful was his journey from being a young republican to a publicly out Asian american journalist & activist. as someone who grew up Asian in an incredibly homogenous white upper middle class neighborhood, like the one chin’s family moves to, i was really relating to how his adoption of a right-leaning political identity was an attempt at assimilating
while i was never a republican, i was incredibly politically apathetic until the very end of my undergrad years. i really struggle with my shame over that, especially seeing how committed so many of today’s kids & teens are to social justice. so reading chin’s story & seeing his political identity shift was just really important to me bc it reminded me that people are allowed to grow & change, even if sometimes social media/society seems to demand perfect allyship
overall this memoir had so many threads that were familiar to my experiences, as well as many that were new to me. i loved how chin’s narrative voice was conversational, witty, & accessible, but still roused strong emotions & reflection. i just felt like i got to know chin like a best friend as i read his story & i’m so glad i did!!
this had everything i love in a memoir — emotional arcs, conversational storytelling, connections to cultural/historical cornerstones, perspective from marginalized communities, & so much heart
chin reflects on his childhood memories with heart & humor, telling tales of his intergenerational family unit, minor feelings as a Chinese kid in the predominantly Black/white binary of detroit, middle child forgottenness, internalized homophobia, & family restaurant’s business successes/struggles in the face of white flight & increasing crime in detroit
i have read a few queer rust belt stories, but none from detroit — so that was a perspective i really learned from as chin reflected on his racial & class identities in this city context. seeing the divestment of resources away from the city was difficult & made even more so with how this personally affected chin’s family’s restaurant. it was also even more tragic to read about vincent chin’s murder as he was a member of the local family association run by the author’s grandpa (great grandpa? i forget the details oops)
the arc i found most impactful was his journey from being a young republican to a publicly out Asian american journalist & activist. as someone who grew up Asian in an incredibly homogenous white upper middle class neighborhood, like the one chin’s family moves to, i was really relating to how his adoption of a right-leaning political identity was an attempt at assimilating
while i was never a republican, i was incredibly politically apathetic until the very end of my undergrad years. i really struggle with my shame over that, especially seeing how committed so many of today’s kids & teens are to social justice. so reading chin’s story & seeing his political identity shift was just really important to me bc it reminded me that people are allowed to grow & change, even if sometimes social media/society seems to demand perfect allyship
overall this memoir had so many threads that were familiar to my experiences, as well as many that were new to me. i loved how chin’s narrative voice was conversational, witty, & accessible, but still roused strong emotions & reflection. i just felt like i got to know chin like a best friend as i read his story & i’m so glad i did!!
April 22, 2024
****4/22/24**** Just finished Curtis Chin's memoir last night. His book describes his upbringing as a first gen Chinese American child in a multi-generational family that ran a popular Chinese restaurant in Detroit in the 1980's. The book only goes through the time of Curtis Chin graduating from the University of Michigan and moving to NYC, so just a section of his life. I would say him writing a memoir is a little unusual due to 1) the cutoff of the book at a young age (he is now much older), 2) his lack of fame, 3) his (relative) lack of trauma. So don't expect a lot of drama (although I'd love to read a book by/about his mother), but more a 'representation' memoir for the Chinese American community, the LGBTQ community, and possibly the Detroit-in-the-80's community.
With that said, I do feel he tells some compelling stories about 1) being raised by a multi-generational Chinese family, particularly by parents without much formal education, 2) discovering his sexual identity and, later in college, his support network, and 3) Detroit in the 80's. But is this enough to get a book deal in 2023? Apparently so! Good for him! If you read his bio, you can see he has taken on a leadership role in bringing Asian American voices to the forefront, and that is a good thing: https://www.curtisfromdetroit.com/
Overall, it was a decent read. I didn't think the Chinese menu organization added much, but its ok. I'm somewhere around his age and do feel books that reference growing up in the 80's are good for current GenZ-ers to see how crazy that time really was. 4-stars.
****4/17/24**** Just started this new release (Oct 23) memoir re: Chinese-American diaspora specific to 1980's kids in Detroit with an LGBTQ angle - I'm only 25% in so we'll see where it takes me. As a 1980's suburban Chicago kid, I can relate to a bit of his story, and so far it is an interesting read. Thanks to Los Angeles Public Library for the loaner.
With that said, I do feel he tells some compelling stories about 1) being raised by a multi-generational Chinese family, particularly by parents without much formal education, 2) discovering his sexual identity and, later in college, his support network, and 3) Detroit in the 80's. But is this enough to get a book deal in 2023? Apparently so! Good for him! If you read his bio, you can see he has taken on a leadership role in bringing Asian American voices to the forefront, and that is a good thing: https://www.curtisfromdetroit.com/
Overall, it was a decent read. I didn't think the Chinese menu organization added much, but its ok. I'm somewhere around his age and do feel books that reference growing up in the 80's are good for current GenZ-ers to see how crazy that time really was. 4-stars.
****4/17/24**** Just started this new release (Oct 23) memoir re: Chinese-American diaspora specific to 1980's kids in Detroit with an LGBTQ angle - I'm only 25% in so we'll see where it takes me. As a 1980's suburban Chicago kid, I can relate to a bit of his story, and so far it is an interesting read. Thanks to Los Angeles Public Library for the loaner.
January 20, 2024
For someone who says “poetry saved him,” this book was seriously devoid of poetic language or sensibility. And for someone who claimed to be angry about how superficially we talk about or examine issues of race, his perspective was facile. There seems to be an interesting life in here somewhere, but everything was stated in such a “just the facts” manner with so little introspection, it was hard to really connect to the author or his story.
November 14, 2023
Living in the Midwest, I saw Detroit as both fascinating and dangerous, even as it declined economically and socially when it lost the auto industry and economic power, and became a literal war zone, with riots and fires, a city soon abandoned by many long time residents.
I was delighted to read of this Chinese family that stayed and thrived even in dangerous conditions, because of their well-known restaurant with customers from all classes, races and religions, the common ground being love of Chinese cuisine.
The memoir describes a volatile Detroit during those changing times and the lives of the Chinese family, the Chins, as seen by third son, Curtice, a second generation son. Curtice's book covers his life there until he left after graduating from the University of Michigan to find his own way, as a film maker in NYC.
The heady topics of his sexuality, his position in the family as the middle child of five, plus racism and discrimination, and the dangers of Detroit are offset by the humor with which Curtice Chin tackles his own personal life there. The memoir is entertaining as well as informative and very considerate regarding many of the people he came in contact with in school, at work, in daily life. This, in spite of the fact that the Chinese community there could not forget the murder of a family friend, Vincent Chin, considered an act of discrimination that was never fully punished.
Kudos to the author for writing with so much insight and honesty, and presenting himself with delightful humor in between the very serious topics.
I was delighted to read of this Chinese family that stayed and thrived even in dangerous conditions, because of their well-known restaurant with customers from all classes, races and religions, the common ground being love of Chinese cuisine.
The memoir describes a volatile Detroit during those changing times and the lives of the Chinese family, the Chins, as seen by third son, Curtice, a second generation son. Curtice's book covers his life there until he left after graduating from the University of Michigan to find his own way, as a film maker in NYC.
The heady topics of his sexuality, his position in the family as the middle child of five, plus racism and discrimination, and the dangers of Detroit are offset by the humor with which Curtice Chin tackles his own personal life there. The memoir is entertaining as well as informative and very considerate regarding many of the people he came in contact with in school, at work, in daily life. This, in spite of the fact that the Chinese community there could not forget the murder of a family friend, Vincent Chin, considered an act of discrimination that was never fully punished.
Kudos to the author for writing with so much insight and honesty, and presenting himself with delightful humor in between the very serious topics.
August 15, 2023
This took me a while to read, but not because it’s bad! Sometimes with nonfiction I just have to tackle it in smaller increments because truth doesn’t allow me the escapism that fiction does. But as far as memoirs go, this one was a pretty good mix of informative, amusing, and emotional. Chin goes into a lot of detail about growing up working in his family’s restaurant in Detroit and what the culture of the city was like during that time. He tells you about his family history and their struggles, and he’s very candid about his own experiences figuring out his sexuality and then dealing with both Homophobia AND Racism at every age and in practically every place he lived and traveled.
My favorite thing about the book was Chin’s narrative voice, because even when covering difficult subject matter he still infused it with a hopeful and often humorous tone. There are also many poignant chapters about reconnecting emotionally with his family after conflicts, and those resonated with me. I loved reading about all the delicious sounding food, as well. I wish I could have eaten at Chung’s, his family’s restaurant! It sounds so good, and his parents were incredibly dedicated to its success. This is a good memoir for anyone who likes to read about food and people working hard and succeeding despite some (human) obstacles along the way.
TW: Hate speech/racial slurs
I was able to get an ARC for this through my job at the library.
My favorite thing about the book was Chin’s narrative voice, because even when covering difficult subject matter he still infused it with a hopeful and often humorous tone. There are also many poignant chapters about reconnecting emotionally with his family after conflicts, and those resonated with me. I loved reading about all the delicious sounding food, as well. I wish I could have eaten at Chung’s, his family’s restaurant! It sounds so good, and his parents were incredibly dedicated to its success. This is a good memoir for anyone who likes to read about food and people working hard and succeeding despite some (human) obstacles along the way.
TW: Hate speech/racial slurs
I was able to get an ARC for this through my job at the library.
March 20, 2024
2.5/5 stars
This is not a bad memoir by any means, but Chin's retelling of his life is incredibly simplistic with very little thoughtful commentary. While it's clear that Chin grew up in extraordinary circumstances (growing up Asian and gay in one of the most racially contentious cities in America during the onset of the AIDS epidemic, and having known Vincent Chin before his untimely death), the vast majority of the memoir is spent retelling common tropes of Chinese American upbringings (I contrast this with Maxine Hong Kingston's autofiction novel The Woman Warrior, which elevates similar Chinese American tropes to searing, supernatural effect, highlighting the composite discriminations of race, gender/sex, and class). Chin's metaphors extend solely to pandering signifiers of Asian culture ("I stood as straight as two chopsticks") and for a poet, Chin uses very little language beyond the literal.
When Chin mentions , Everything I Learned has the potential to adopt a political tilt contextualized by the 60s-70s emergence of Asian American activism -- but Chin opts for a literal retelling of his teenage years spent as a staunch Republican. Chin credits his mother's mentality of "hard work" for his initial Republicanism, but even after he graduates to Asian American and LGBTQ+ advocacy, his continuing disdain for "liberals" and "lefties" signals a relatively moderate politics. I've since learned that Chin later went on to advise the Obama administration on Asian American issues, and I question why Chin chose to highlight his adolescent conservatism without the benefit of retrospect: Does he remain committed to a politics of limited government while antithetically advocating for civil rights?
In a LA Times article, Chin mentions that there are aspects of his life that he wasn't "emotionally ready" to tell in his memoir. Unfortunately, the result is a story that takes little risk and has little takeaway: Chin's life is abundant in intriguing storylines, but few of them make it to the final book.
This is not a bad memoir by any means, but Chin's retelling of his life is incredibly simplistic with very little thoughtful commentary. While it's clear that Chin grew up in extraordinary circumstances (growing up Asian and gay in one of the most racially contentious cities in America during the onset of the AIDS epidemic, and having known Vincent Chin before his untimely death), the vast majority of the memoir is spent retelling common tropes of Chinese American upbringings (I contrast this with Maxine Hong Kingston's autofiction novel The Woman Warrior, which elevates similar Chinese American tropes to searing, supernatural effect, highlighting the composite discriminations of race, gender/sex, and class). Chin's metaphors extend solely to pandering signifiers of Asian culture ("I stood as straight as two chopsticks") and for a poet, Chin uses very little language beyond the literal.
When Chin mentions , Everything I Learned has the potential to adopt a political tilt contextualized by the 60s-70s emergence of Asian American activism -- but Chin opts for a literal retelling of his teenage years spent as a staunch Republican. Chin credits his mother's mentality of "hard work" for his initial Republicanism, but even after he graduates to Asian American and LGBTQ+ advocacy, his continuing disdain for "liberals" and "lefties" signals a relatively moderate politics. I've since learned that Chin later went on to advise the Obama administration on Asian American issues, and I question why Chin chose to highlight his adolescent conservatism without the benefit of retrospect: Does he remain committed to a politics of limited government while antithetically advocating for civil rights?
In a LA Times article, Chin mentions that there are aspects of his life that he wasn't "emotionally ready" to tell in his memoir. Unfortunately, the result is a story that takes little risk and has little takeaway: Chin's life is abundant in intriguing storylines, but few of them make it to the final book.
January 1, 2024
I GREW UP IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT TOO!!!
After seeing Curtis featured on CBS Mornings I immediately got the book as his story was similar to my own.
Chinese immigrant family ✅
Grew up in a Chinese Restaurant ✅
Had identity issues in dual cultures ✅
Was a disappointment picking the wrong profession ✅
My father’s name was Curtis LOL ✅
As you can see, we had many similarities which compelled me to pick up his book and I was delighted to hear that he narrated it himself. For me it was a fascinating relatable story of self identity and discovery but my story, although similar, had slight variances.
Growing up in Phoenix, I was FOB so not ABC. I decided to major in Psychology and go into education. I totally related to how that was a disappointment as my family sacrificed for a brighter future for me to be a doctor, lawyer, architect or engineer, to the point where I was actually disowned. But through it all he persevered and became a successful writer making his parents proud.
Although I couldn’t totally relate, I loved how he struggled through his self discovery over his homosexuality.My struggles over the decades were with being Non-Binary. He was open and honest as he stumbled into this taboo world.
I loved his narrative style and although I’m a bit biased, I’d recommend this to any Asian Americans living in dual cultures facing acculturation issues as they try to resolve their own internal conflict.
There’s quite a lot more I could say about this book but I will leave it at this. I would love to have further discussions about this with any Asian American as I know that many more will relate to this book!
Lasty, why was the name Curtis so popular back then?
After seeing Curtis featured on CBS Mornings I immediately got the book as his story was similar to my own.
Chinese immigrant family ✅
Grew up in a Chinese Restaurant ✅
Had identity issues in dual cultures ✅
Was a disappointment picking the wrong profession ✅
My father’s name was Curtis LOL ✅
As you can see, we had many similarities which compelled me to pick up his book and I was delighted to hear that he narrated it himself. For me it was a fascinating relatable story of self identity and discovery but my story, although similar, had slight variances.
Growing up in Phoenix, I was FOB so not ABC. I decided to major in Psychology and go into education. I totally related to how that was a disappointment as my family sacrificed for a brighter future for me to be a doctor, lawyer, architect or engineer, to the point where I was actually disowned. But through it all he persevered and became a successful writer making his parents proud.
Although I couldn’t totally relate, I loved how he struggled through his self discovery over his homosexuality.My struggles over the decades were with being Non-Binary. He was open and honest as he stumbled into this taboo world.
I loved his narrative style and although I’m a bit biased, I’d recommend this to any Asian Americans living in dual cultures facing acculturation issues as they try to resolve their own internal conflict.
There’s quite a lot more I could say about this book but I will leave it at this. I would love to have further discussions about this with any Asian American as I know that many more will relate to this book!
Lasty, why was the name Curtis so popular back then?
December 18, 2023
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!
This was really great and thoroughly enjoyable. I'll admit, I didn't know who Curtis Chin was before reading this but the premise was interesting enough that I still wanted to check it out. It was so well written and Chin has such an interesting voice and story.
I love a memoir that hits on important topics but doesn't take the whole of itself too seriously, meaning it makes room not only for things of import but also for humor and silly stories. I loved hearing about Chin's growth and transformation, not only with his sexuality and political beliefs but also in his self=confidence and his place in his family. I laughed, I teared up, and I was deeply moved as certain topics really hit home. I am a white, straight, female (so I don't get much more opposite than Chin) - but the way he wrote about his struggles, lessons, and triumphs made them accessible in a way that many authors try but don't quite achieve.
This was a really great memoir that I am really glad I read - I highly recommend it!
This was really great and thoroughly enjoyable. I'll admit, I didn't know who Curtis Chin was before reading this but the premise was interesting enough that I still wanted to check it out. It was so well written and Chin has such an interesting voice and story.
I love a memoir that hits on important topics but doesn't take the whole of itself too seriously, meaning it makes room not only for things of import but also for humor and silly stories. I loved hearing about Chin's growth and transformation, not only with his sexuality and political beliefs but also in his self=confidence and his place in his family. I laughed, I teared up, and I was deeply moved as certain topics really hit home. I am a white, straight, female (so I don't get much more opposite than Chin) - but the way he wrote about his struggles, lessons, and triumphs made them accessible in a way that many authors try but don't quite achieve.
This was a really great memoir that I am really glad I read - I highly recommend it!
October 4, 2023
This book combined two of my favorite non-fiction genres, memoir and food writing. I loved hearing Chin’s stories from the resturant and learning about his family. The tone of the book felt too YA at points and had some funky pacing, but otherwise I enjoyed this read.
Thank you to libro.fm for my ALC.
Thank you to libro.fm for my ALC.
December 28, 2023
I perused some of the negative reviews and I'm not sure they read the same book. I would absolutely recommend this to anyone interested in immigration, the evolution of the rust belt, being a gay teen in the Midwest in the 80s, large (and extended) family dynamics, racism . . . Also, I found Chin's documentary about Vincent on Kanopy and I'm about to watch that.
July 11, 2023
If this book was even slightly meant to make you crave Chinese food, it worked! It also made me appreciate my favorite Chinese restaurant just a little more than I did before. In his memoir, Curtis Chin shares the story of his family living in Detroit and running the popular Chung's Restaurant. Curtis grew up with five siblings and had to struggle to find his way not just in his family and culture, but also in his city and school. Chin also faces racism, and as he transitions from grade school to high school, he has to come to terms with his sexuality. Should he heed his mother's advice and keep quiet or should he find his own voice and stand out?
Chin etches out his own identity by trying to make friends, join clubs, and work hard. Like any teenage boy, his hormones often get in his way, and he is overshadowed by his culture and the needs of his family. But Chin tells his story with a light-hearted, often comical, approach as he navigates through both high school and college. I was so eager to see him finally out in the world doing what he had longed to do and strived for throughout his teen years, finding his place in this world.
As a white gay male, this book was an eye opener for me when it comes to different forms of racism and cultures. I could relate to Chin since I also grew up as a young boy in the 80's trying to navigate the headlines of AIDS and homophobia. Being a writer, I was also happy to see the path Chin took in college which led me to want to learn more about him. It's a coming of age story about boyhood, education, politics, and family that many will appreciate, no matter where you came from.
Chin etches out his own identity by trying to make friends, join clubs, and work hard. Like any teenage boy, his hormones often get in his way, and he is overshadowed by his culture and the needs of his family. But Chin tells his story with a light-hearted, often comical, approach as he navigates through both high school and college. I was so eager to see him finally out in the world doing what he had longed to do and strived for throughout his teen years, finding his place in this world.
As a white gay male, this book was an eye opener for me when it comes to different forms of racism and cultures. I could relate to Chin since I also grew up as a young boy in the 80's trying to navigate the headlines of AIDS and homophobia. Being a writer, I was also happy to see the path Chin took in college which led me to want to learn more about him. It's a coming of age story about boyhood, education, politics, and family that many will appreciate, no matter where you came from.
December 23, 2023
Curtis Chin’s memoir about growing up as a gay Chinese American kid in the 1980s was a wonderful read into an identity outside of my own. I’m always grateful for the vulnerability and honesty in memoirs, but this one was especially personal. I felt like we were growing up alongside him in this chronological memoir. I loved the writing style in this book and grateful that Curtis shared his story. :)
December 7, 2023
I knew the second I started reading this that I would want the audio instead and I’m so glad I made the switch! Curtis is relatable and raw and honest while still presenting his harrowing tales hilariously! As a child to immigrants, I could relate so much but also lear ed about his culture’s unique challenges. A great memoir!
September 11, 2023
This was an interesting memoir with the majority of it told through the perspective of the author as a young boy growing up in Detroit's Chinatown. This book had some interesting parts, but I honestly wasn't sure where it was going, and then it just ended... As a memoir that takes place in a Chinese restaurant, I was hoping for a little more BTS of that or stories that centered around food.
Unsentimental and with a Unique perspective, this was a Diverse listen.
Thank you to the publisher for an ARC and Libro.fm for an ALC!
Unsentimental and with a Unique perspective, this was a Diverse listen.
Thank you to the publisher for an ARC and Libro.fm for an ALC!
May 17, 2023
I received a copy of this book in a Goodreads giveaway.
While I understand the importance of learning about other people's experiences and don't think there was necessarily anything wrong with this book, it wasn't to my taste at all and I was bored to tears after about 70 pages. Moving on because I don't want to end up dreading picking up a book, but with the heavy disclaimer that this is solely about my own personal reading tastes and not the quality of the work itself.
While I understand the importance of learning about other people's experiences and don't think there was necessarily anything wrong with this book, it wasn't to my taste at all and I was bored to tears after about 70 pages. Moving on because I don't want to end up dreading picking up a book, but with the heavy disclaimer that this is solely about my own personal reading tastes and not the quality of the work itself.
February 12, 2024
Absolutely fascinating book on Detroit, race and queerness. I hope this is just the first in many great books to come from Curtis Chin. I wouldn't be the hopeless romantic I am if I don't wish for more about Mr. Yale.
October 27, 2023
Really enjoyed. Didn't make me go WOW, but sped through it and good writing. Wished it covered a bit more of young adulthood, but I liked a lot of the stories.
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