From the course: Communicating about Culturally Sensitive Issues

How to apologize

From the course: Communicating about Culturally Sensitive Issues

How to apologize

“

- An appropriate apology is the first step to get a damaged relationship back on track. However, if you apologize in the wrong way, it might actually make matters worse. I'm going to help you to identify the ways to rebuild a relationship after you make a mistake. Now remember this important point, apologizing is a skill. So even though mistakes are inevitable, you can recover if you know what to say, how to say it, and when. Apologizing can be difficult, but one of the most common mistakes is to offer a conditional apology. This occurs when you say I'm sorry if, instead of I'm sorry that. When you say, "I'm sorry if," this calls into question whether the person was actually offended and can make the situation worse. It may give the impression that you're blaming the other person for being hurt. To avoid this, it's better to take responsibility for your actions and say, "I'm sorry that what I said offended you." This shows that you acknowledge the harm you caused and you take full responsibility for it. In this way, you can make a genuine and effective apology. Apologizing is an important aspect of building and maintaining healthy relationships. But, over apologizing can be awkward and ineffective. Repeated apologies for the same offense can become tiresome and make it difficult to move forward. Over apologizing can be a sign that you're seeking validation for your own feelings of guilt, rather than truly trying to make amends with the other person. While it's natural to feel guilty after causing harm, it's not fair to make the other person responsible for resolving these feelings for you. Instead, it's better to apologize respectively and take the steps to avoid making the same mistake again. Now, this leads me to the last question. When do you apologize? And the answer is, as soon as you realize you made the mistake. The longer it takes you to apologize, the less sincere your apology will appear.

Contents