Things you might hear that are a sign of immature agile practice: "We'll fix that closer to release" "It's just an environment issue" "We've delivered 38 points this sprint" "Raise a ticket" "The test team" "Product owner approval" "It's done, it just needs testing" "which release is this in?" "What's the status on this?" "How many sprint goals did we achieve this sprint?" "Who can run the daily scrum while I'm away?" "We're waiting on the other team" "Remember to do your timesheets" "This isn't optional" "But the requirements said" What am I missing?
That can wait till the hardening sprint
Devops team
"Please make sure you log your hours against that ticket" "Let's just move it to the blocked column for now" "You can put tech debt in your sprint backlog, if you like. But don't put it in my product backlog" "Ha - there are about a thousand better ways you could have done that" "We'll just wait for <insert name of important person> before the 18of us get started with this call. Shouldn't be long" "Stuff takes too long to complete for a 2 week sprint, so we'll go with 4" "Don't think we have anything for the review" "That flow metric stuff is just heuristic" "You'll have dual accountability as Dev/SM and PO" "SMs report into the Agile Coaches" "SM: Ok team. Stand-up time" "My ticket's needs a review, so I need something new to work on" "Yes, but..." "We use ScrumBan"
Put this on a tshirt
“We can release once QA and BU sign off is done” “Make sure the QA checklist is done before the release” “We are still waiting for the requirements from BU” “Make sure to put the individual velocities in your weekly management report”
It’s a great idea, but it won’t work here
"in agile, we don't plan" "keep that until the ceremony comes around" "agile says we need a <insert practise from Scrum/XP here>" "our projects are agile because we <insert terminology from XP/Kanban/Scrum here>" "... Agile Projects ..."
Helping people to make better products
1w"No, we already have a full sprint." "We forgot to retro because there wasn't a calendar invite." "I need about half a day to do the powerpoint for the review later." "Done means ready for the change board." "We have to, because that's what the framework says." "This is coming from above me, I can't say who." Edit: "Yesterday I did... today I will... no blockers"