Open-ended vs. Closed-ended Questions

Public speaking, one of the biggest fears we have as humans. Why is it so scary? The fear of rejection, the fear of the unknown, the fear of not sounding educated on the subject. Key word here, fear.

I have met many people who wish they can communicate easier with peers, the public, their families, and simply put, anyone who crosses their path. Well, I have a secret for you. Communication is easy when you control the conversation. Controlling the conversation is easier said than done.

Let's learn today why we tend to communicate for data and instant gratification; getting the answer to our questions. As humans, we are typically results driven. Meaning, we want an answer, a determination, and an outcome. Your questions matter and I bet, a majority of your day, you communicate with closed-ended questions and you don't even realize it.

The simple question for the simple "yes" or "no" answer. What have you learned with the yes or no? Don't get me wrong, there are times for survey data questions and answers. That is not what we discussing today. Today, we are teaching the behaviors of open-ended questions and gathering more information and having a meaningful, value-add conversation.

Examples: closed-ended questions typically start with, Do, Can, Will, Have, etc.. The questions that result with a "yes" or a "no". Let's look at examples of open-ended questions. Share with me, Tell me, Why, How, What, etc.. Questions that mandate a thoughtful response and not a mediocre "yes" or "no".

I have an activity for you to try on someone. It's simple, fun, and will blow your mind. Find someone. Anyone. Ask them to participate in a quick training you just learned about on communication.

ACTIVITY RULES: Share with the person, you are going to simply ask a question. Listen to what I say, and at the end, I'll ask you to repeat what I said. Clarify they understand the rules. Then you ask:

"Do you, what would you do with one thousand dollars?" Look at them after the question and ask, what did I say?

99% of those I have done this with will say: "What would I do with one thousand dollars?" They will miss the "DO YOU" at the beginning. Try it out.

The point to this, our brains are wired to hear the question asked. When you start in a closed-ended question, STOP, change it up to an open-ended and continue asking, mid sentence. Nobody will catch it and you create engagement. A skill to practice for sure!

Hope this helps and excited to hear how you did on the activity! Your words matter. Take this opportunity to put something new today into play. Stop asking closed-ended questions and practice on opening up. The things you learn will be amazing.

Cheers!