What do you do if your lack of assertiveness is hindering your professional growth?

1 Assess your level of assertiveness

The first step to becoming more assertive is to understand your current level of assertiveness and how it affects your work. You can use a self-assessment tool, such as the Assertiveness Questionnaire, to measure your assertiveness and identify your strengths and areas for improvement. Alternatively, you can ask for feedback from your peers, mentors, or coaches, who can provide you with honest and constructive insights. You can also reflect on your own experiences and behaviors, such as how you handle conflict, criticism, or requests, and how you feel about them.

2 Identify your assertiveness goals

The next step is to set clear and realistic goals for improving your assertiveness. You can start by identifying the specific situations or contexts where you want to be more assertive, such as meetings, presentations, negotiations, or performance reviews. Then, you can define what assertiveness means for you in those situations, such as stating your opinions, asking questions, making requests, or saying no. You can also consider the benefits and challenges of being more assertive, such as how it will affect your relationships, outcomes, and emotions.

3 Learn and practice assertive techniques

The third step is to learn and practice some effective techniques for assertive communication. These include using "I" statements to express feelings, needs, and preferences without blaming or judging others. Body language should be used to convey confidence and respect, with words and tone being clear and polite but not too soft or harsh. Additionally, the broken record technique can be used to repeat a point or request calmly and firmly, and the fogging technique can be used to acknowledge and diffuse criticism or hostility without agreeing or disagreeing. All of these techniques are important for communicating assertively.

4 Seek support and feedback

The final step is to seek support and feedback from others who can help you develop your assertiveness. You can find a mentor, coach, or role model who can guide you, inspire you, and challenge you. You can also join a group, course, or workshop that can provide you with opportunities to learn, practice, and share your experiences with other people who have similar goals. You can also ask for feedback from your colleagues, managers, or clients, who can give you valuable information about how your assertiveness is perceived and received.