Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
When my 4yo woke up, she said "I'm so excited for my party today," and I have no idea what she's talking about.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) June 10, 2024
“Your daughter has been training the other children to cry on demand, seemingly in order to disrupt the class” is among the many things that parenting books have not prepared me for
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) June 11, 2024
My 3yo: Mommy, I want more chicken leaves for lunch.
— Princess (@themultiplemom) June 11, 2024
That’s what she calls a chicken caesar salad. 💀
I showed my daughter A Bug’s Life for the first time recently and this is her god now pic.twitter.com/KJglXp2Jwv
— Angelina (@whyangelinawhy) June 8, 2024
Kids always choose the best time to ask silly questions. You’d be out at a Baptism ceremony and your kid will ask “What does it mean when you do this?” as they hold up their middle finger.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) June 13, 2024
My oldest son informs me that it’s been three weeks since he graduated high school and he still hasn’t used trigonometry.
— Upside Dad (@UpsideDad) June 10, 2024
it’s the baby’s birthday! i say happy birthday!!! he says “it feels so nice to be 6 again”
— Kemi Marie (they/them) (@kemimarie) June 12, 2024
😃 what 😃 do 😃 you 😃 mean 😃 sir
Yesterday was a day that will go down in infamy in our family as The Honey Incident: the 3 year old brought a FULL container of honey to her room, opened it, and the 1.5 year old spilled the whole thing and spread it all over the room. I will be reminding them of this until I DIE
— eli 🕯✨ (@nienna121) June 12, 2024
My kid transcribed something her teacher said in class today and is it giving it to her as a gift tomorrow. pic.twitter.com/Ebj3dekord
— Nathan Christopher (@Nathan_C_Books) June 13, 2024
It’s important to open your kids up to a variety of sports when they’re young. Soccer, baseball, death match wrestling their brother on the living room floor. All great options.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) June 10, 2024
[On a road trip]
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) June 9, 2024
Kids: Oooh a Waffle House! Can we eat there?!
Husband: Hard pass. I’ve seen y’all fight, and frankly, it’s not gonna cut it.
End of school is wild. Just this week, my kid has brought home two notebooks I bought, four notebooks I didn’t, three water bottles, 18 art projects and the lost city of Atlantis.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) June 11, 2024
My 5yo only has two modes: loud and louder
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) June 13, 2024
Have teenagers so you can wake up in the morning to a random trash can inside a trash bag sitting by the back door. why.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 11, 2024
[At a restaurant]
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) June 10, 2024
Alright kids, what combination of starch and cheese are you gonna have this time
If you have kids under the age of 6 and fun plans this summer, DO NOT tell them about the fun plans until you are literally arriving at the plans. Pulling up to the gate.
— sarah (@sarahradz_) June 12, 2024
Watching too many cooking shows like hold on kids, we need to let the chicken nuggets rest a few minutes
— meghan (@deloisivete) June 10, 2024
I’m confident the inventor of the kazoo did not have children.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) June 10, 2024