"Not my parents getting same-day delivery on a Lite Brite for my kids when I spent two years asking for one in the '90s."
"No parenting books or conversations ever prepared me for what to do when I hear 'I was bored so I woke the baby up.'"
"My teen hasn’t finished cleaning her room but she did prepare a PowerPoint for why she needs her own Instagram account."
"My daughter asking who left the cap off the glue like she thinks I sit around crafting and shit while she’s at camp."
"My 6yo doesn't want to go to the park because he's tired of wearing sun scream."
"When my 4yo woke up, she said 'I'm so excited for my party today,' and I have no idea what she's talking about."
"Should I be disturbed by the way my 8-year-old daughter plays doctor? I was her patient today, and she just made me fill out forms the whole time."
"No one is full of more false hope than a parent with a new chore chart."
"Took my kid to “Bring Your Child To Work Day” a few weeks ago and now, any time I ask her how she’s doing, she says 'Living the dream.'"
"Every craft store needs an aisle labeled So Your Child Has a School Project Due Tomorrow."
