Sherri Phillips

Inspiring change isn't easy. I'm trying to think back through the times in my life when I've changed, seriously changed, and there aren't many. Let's see: - I didn't invest money in my future, and then a very smart advisor suggested I do. $$$ - I didn't want to quit a certain job, and then the other side began to look so much better that I did. Hello, @Deutsch Photography! - As a kid, I was terrified of leaving home. I'd be leading a very different life now. Inspiring change is all about sharing change. What has inspired YOU to make changes, big and small? What have you changed about how you dress, talk, think, present yourself? What have you changed in your life? In your philosophy? Share. I want to know. We all want to know.

Do you remember being 6 or 7 years old? Or watching your kids or nieces/nephews, or observing a playground? Perfect lesson in conflict management, right? Kids negotiate with aplomb. And they're incredibly efficient. Though no less important, the demands--let's face it--are a little simpler at that point. I don't have kids, but we just watched this play through with our dog. (Sorry for that comparison ... oh! not sorry!) DahliaDog doesn't care about toys. Her guest Dulci cared!!! What was amazing was the conflict still mattered. As soon as someone says "I care," we all seem to care. Dulci managed it with aplomb. She showed Dahlia what mattered to her. Dahlia reciprocated. They negotiated. And you know what? We didn't intervene once.

I've got mixed feelings about empathy. I am an empath, and I often wish I were not. Meaning ... if you tell me what you're going through? I feel it. If you're depressed, I'm depressed. If you're happy, I'm flying high. Sometimes maintaining a distance is valuable. If you're sympathetic instead of empathetic, you can maintain a certain distance and give a more balanced opinion. But empathy means you're IN it. And that might eliminate the distance you need to make a smart decision. Whichever you are, I encourage you to consider each party's position. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Whether you adopt a position of sympathy or empathy, either will serve you and your customers well.

We "hear" so much about active listening these days. Is it BS? Is it just another fricking industry term that means nothing? Maybe. Are you hearing me? I've always been an active listener b/c I had to be. I wanted to tune out. I wanted to walk away. But when I was a kid, if I didn't listen and HEAR, then it would rain down on my head. Have you experienced the same? When you tuned out and then you tuned in, and -- oh no! -- what happened in that ellipsis? Tune in, people. Tune in like that person is the most interesting ever. Like this is the song of your life. Because why not? What do you have to lose? And you have EVERYTHING to gain. Seriously, stop your egotistical

Can you believe I once believed EI was a totally ridiculous concept? Do you know why? Because it WAS! Emotional intelligence was something that only softies did. And if you practiced it, if you allowed yourself to connect emotionally, you were considered weak. And that attitude was reflected in promotions, in raises, in the way you were perceived among your colleagues, your competition and your clients. But I couldn't disconnect from my emotions that way. And you probably couldn't, either. And that's a VERY good thing. New times, baby. Feel what they're feeling. If you don't or can't, ask. It's SO worth your time to get where they're coming from. And if you do it in the right way, with an open heart, they'll respond.

I have zero doubt you're already an expert at identifying tasks. But delegating? Different skillset. Step away from the 1-2-3 To-Do list that boosts your dopamine when you put that magic "X" on the list. - 80% Rule. Can someone else do 80% of what's needed for you to then review and edit? DELEGATE! Swoop in, edit, make it great. They'll learn and get better. - Customers Rule. Every single customer counts, but differently. DELEGATE the positive ones by providing a flexible response, and ALWAYS take care of the toughies yourself. - YOU matter. DON'T DELEGATE. Hold onto the top 3 things that matter to YOU to manage. For me, authenticity of my voice on LI matters. For you, it might be something different. Leave the gun, take the cannoli.